December 14- school shooting

I pasted my journal entry here about my reactions to the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary

December 14, 2012

My day started out as what I thought was completely insignificant.  It ended as one of the most humbling, and horrifying days imaginable, as I heard the news about the shooting at Newtown CT Elementary School. I have read accounts from the World Wars, varying Holocausts, and other ugly scenes from this world’s history. It seems so very more real when tragedies strike in “my” time.  There are forces for good and evil on this earth, and that is as true then as it is today, but it doesn’t make the news any easier to swallow.

I remember hearing about the shooting at Columbine, Virginia Tech, the Colorado theatre…even the horrible events of 9/11. My heart was heavy then, much as it is now learning about the more recent tragedy at this school. As a mother of a kindergartener, it shocked me to hear of the young, young children that were killed today. I see my own beautiful, innocent children walking around, perfectly fine. I thank my Heavenly Father for his mercy in sparing my children, as well as the other children in that school across the nation from me. And then my heart aches that so many had their lives ended, because of the reckless decision of one man.

I was filled with fear and concern, as I wondered if I could ever trust schools again as a safe environment for my children. I felt overwhelmed at the ugliness and hate around me. How were we as a Nation going to deal with the increasing wickedness around us? It was as I was feeling these miserable and fearful thoughts, that I saw a beautiful painting of the Savior holding a small girl By David Bowman.  It was being passed around facebook, and I felt like it must have been painted for this very day. This girl in the picture looked the same size as my kindergartner. I felt such love and comfort fill me. The Savior is receiving those beautiful children as we speak. He is wrapping his loving arms around them, and welcoming them to a place that is far better than the one they came from. Our Savior has a plan for us. It is a plan of happiness.

Just yesterday, I was invited to sit in on a missionary discussion. I heard Heaven Father’s plan described in detail. I felt my testimony burn inside of me with their words. I think about those that are left behind to mourn, and I am reminded that we have a loving Father in Heaven. We have a Savior that has felt our pains, and sorrows. He wants us to have faith in him, and believe on His name. Through Him we will find comfort and peace amidst chaos and confusion.

I am grateful for temple ordinances that allow us to be reunited with our families after this life. Today is not the end for those parents that are separated from their little ones.

During this Christmas Season, hope and good cheer still abide. I hope that people are humbled by this story, and will look to serve and lift where they can. My prayers are being sent to Connecticut tonight. And, I am going to hold my babies a little tighter, speak a little softer, and try a little harder.